You want your husband to hold you without you asking.
You want him to say “I love you…” without you saying it first.
You want him to smile when he sees you walk into a room.
Your therapist recommended you communicate your needs clearly to him…
But every time you try to tell your husband how you feel ignored and abandoned by him…
He just shuts down, gets defensive or checks out.
It’s like he barely has any time or patience for you.
You’ve tried communicating your feelings multiple times in different ways… just like your therapist recommended…
But it's like the more you try to connect with him… the more he pulls away…
And it confuses you because he’s great in every other area of the marriage…
He has been an amazing father and very hands-on with the kids.
He provides for the family and makes sure you are never without.
And so you’re sitting there thinking:
“What am I missing?”
The real reason this is happening?
Whenever you talk to your husband about wanting more emotional closeness, it feels like pressure to him and he backs away.
Why?
Because at some point growing up, your husband learned that emotional closeness could bring him criticism or pain.
Whenever he showed his emotions growing up, he was either made to feel wrong for it… or it was used against him…
And now, when you ask him for emotional intimacy, it feels like pressure and he pulls away completely.
On the other hand, you learned a very different lesson.
You learned that love or approval wasn’t guaranteed unless you behaved perfectly… or met certain expectations…
So you go above and beyond… and give of yourself in all your relationships…
And then end up feeling resentful when people don’t reciprocate…
Especially your husband.
And so neither of you truly feel safe with love.
You don’t think you’re worthy of it without earning it…
And he protects himself from the pain it usually brings him.
And it’s this dynamic that keeps you both from experiencing the true emotional connection you’re both craving.
But when you know how to get past this internally so that you KNOW you are worthy of love without needing to overextend yourself for it…
And you start showing up in a way that makes him want to come closer and open up…
That’s when everything shifts.
That’s when he starts opening up more… talking more… moving toward you… without you having to chase him.
That's when he starts smiling again when you walk in the room.
That's when he starts looking into your eyes again and says "I love you"... without being prompted.
And that’s exactly what I help you do inside “Reconnected”
It’s a 6-week 1-on-1 coaching experience where…
I’ll give you the tools to know you’re worthy of love and to start showing up in a way that makes him want to come closer and open up…
So he can connect with you in the way you’ve been wanting him to…
Without you needing to convince him to go to another marriage counselling session he doesn't want to go to...
If you’re ready to reconnect with your husband…
Tap the button below for more info...
